If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
