I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
