She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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