her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
this is an emotional support booty call
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
