I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
