'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
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