his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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