White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
