There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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