Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize