dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
