I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
