I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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