remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
