The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize