his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
