I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The power of my boobs compel you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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