I CAN MOONWALK!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
