I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i wish my penis had a tongue
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
