My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize