WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
