so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Who did Billy Mays play for?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
