dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
