You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
