I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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