i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
