YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
