woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
