I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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