"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize