i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
