I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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