Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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