I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
