Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
