Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
