I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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