does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
