i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
