Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
