I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
