I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
