yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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