He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
