Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
