ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
