Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
