last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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