my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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