While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
