Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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