do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
