As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
