I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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