people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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