I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
