I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
